Fool Hardy or the Full Monty
by akaeve
Summary: written as a christmas present


Fool Hardy or the Full Monty

"Hey , McWhats'it? You, with the flour in your hair." Tony laughed, "Reminds me of San Francisco, at the time of the start of the hippy movement."

"Pardon, Tony? I have no need, to argue with you today." Timothy McGee replied, not looking up from his screen.

"Why? My McDonut? Tony asked sarcastically," You not getting enough sugar sugar?" as he danced around Tim's desk. "So McFlurry, you been doing something you shouldn't?" now, brushing white powder from Tim's jacket.

"Leave off Tony." Tim shouted, now standing and looking Tony in the face.

"OOOOOooooo we are a bit McNougaty, are we not?" Tony smiled at Tim.

"DiNozzo any more of your insensitive comments to Tim, and I will personally sign you over to the Christmas team," a certain Agent Gibbs remarked entering the conversation, "And since when were you old enough to remember Flower Power?"

"I remember my father talking about it, he liked that time, free love and all that stuff." Tony replied, now looking sheepish.

"Free love? Heh you never pay for it anyway do you Tony?" Ziva now butted in.

"Meaning, my little prickly pear?" looking at her chest.

"DiNozzo I mean it, stop annoying the team or I will….stop your pocket money." Gibbs shouted.

"Agent DiNozzo, may I see you in my office? That is, if you are not too objectionable." Director Vance now shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"See yah Tony." Ziva smiled at her co-worker, as he followed the Director up the stairs.

"Tim, are you needing a new shampoo?" Ziva herself asked, as she too now brushed away a whiteness from Tim's shoulders.

"No, but is it that obvious?" he now asked looking at Gibbs.

"Tim, when are you going to tell them?" Gibbs now asked, writing notes in a folder.

"Tell us what McGee. You sundarkning?" Ziva enquired.

"The word is moonlighting, and no…..it is Christmas in DC, and since you are Jewish and do not celebrate, I find it difficult to tell you." Tim now answered, looking at Gibbs for support.

"Why do I feel that you two are in shallots?" she now questioned looking at the two men.

"It is cahoots, and no we are not. But if you promise not to laugh I will explain." Tim now replied, as Gibbs just smiled.

"Wow I'm sorry to have doubted you Tim. I realise there is more you than meets the eye. I never really had you down for one. I mean, are you not a _wee bitty skinny_, as our Dr Mallard would say?" Ziva now answered back smiling.

"It was because one of our usual ones had a heart attack, and no-one could fill in at short notice. But I suppose my stature would stand me in good faith if I really had to…you know, if I had too." Tim replied smiling and looking at Gibbs.

"Tim, have you any idea why the Director has called Tony into his office?" Gibbs now enquired smiling.

"No, I just hope he is not, that being the Director, is being too hard on Tony." Tim now replied thoughtfully.

"Oh Director please no. I didn't mean any harm. I was only being me. Please Director Vance."

"Agent DiNozzo, this year I have watched you annoy, not only Agent McGee, but also Probationary Agent David. You realise your appraisal is due shortly, and from what I gather from Senior Agent Gibbs, you have been particularly obnoxious. Unless you improve I will have you transferred back to Agent Afloat until at least Easter. Do I make myself clear?" Leon Vance now finished smiling.

"Yes Director Vance." As Tony stood, upright.

"Good, at least we now have an understanding." As he handed Tony a plastic bag, "Now go please."

"So tell me again McGee. You are playing Santa. The white powder is snow, well polystyrene snow?" Ziva questioned, now looking strangely at Tim, "The Boys Scouts?"

"Yes."

"And this is for the under privileged children of DC?"

"Yes."

"Do we have to have one monosyllabic answers?"

"Yes."

"Tim, tell her the rest please, you are becoming repetitive."

"Sorry…. Boss. I need an Elf, Ziva…."

"No, I will not be an Elf…or a fairy." She replied.

"No…..we…..I know, I said we, that would be the Boss and me, but we are not in cahoots, offered Tony's services…Director Vance has…..is …..briefing Tony right now." Tim now replied.

"Tim, I think briefing is very appropriate." As he indicated to the top of the stair. There dressed in green tights with red underpants over stood a very Christmasy, Special Agent DiNozzo. His face, as red, as the pants."Hi," Tony waved, "My name is Elf Fool Hardy."As Tim, Gibbs and Ziva looked at the tights and the bulge in the pants, Ziva whispered, raising her eyebrows and smiling, "Fool Hardy.""I was thinking the Full Monty." Tim , he just smiled the Gibbs smile and signed off the report.


End file.
